Wednesday, September 28, 2011

the coupon game

dear valued customer:

yes, very often we have coupons (especially valuable during our "best sale of the decade days"). you will receive these coupons in a mailing with your monthly statement or by clipping them from the newspaper. the proper protocol for use of said coupons is as follows:

you (henceforth known as the customer) will approach my counter with your deck of coupons clutched in one hand and your clothing selections in the other. you will then fan your coupons as if playing a card game. you will say to me, "will the 20% coupon work on this purchase." in turn, i will scan the price tag on the item and either reply, "yes, i can use that coupon" or "no, i cannot. go fish."

in a more complicated game, we can fan out all coupons on my counter (henceforth known as "showing your hand" so that i can chose the best combination of coupons in order to save you the most money. for example, if you have a $10 off on a $30 purchase coupon AND a 20% off coupon, i could suggest that we ring up your purchase in two separate transactions.

if i am in a bad mood, or if you have up to this point been a disagreeable customer, or if the use of coupons game threatens to cut into my daily sales goal, i may or may not play along.


customer color codes

if i managed the store, this is what i would do. i would provide a table at every entrance, and on these tables would be very large (think dinner plate size) stick on labels. the customer, upon entering the door, would chose the appropriate color of tag to wear while wandering the aisles. it's a win-win situation for both of us.

green (or "jade" in our very fashion forward world) would mean the following:
1. yes, please approach me with your genuine smile and chipper greeting.
2. yes, please make small talk to establish a "connection" with me.
3. yes, please show me the latest fashions and/or walk me personally to the proper area of your department to help me find the perfect item of clothing to suit my impeccable taste.

yellow (or "saffron") would mean the following:
1. yes, you may approach me with your standard sincere greeting.
2. yes, you may ask if i am just browsing or need some help.

red (or "mulberry") would mean the following:
1. do not even THINK about smiling at me.

simple, yes?

Tuesday, September 27, 2011

mr. credit card customer

dear mr. credit card customer:

when you told us you wanted to make a payment on your store credit card but that you did not have it with you, we said, "no problem, mr. credit card customer. all we need is to see your driver's license and ask that you input your social security card number on the signature pad." what we did not expect is for you to become upset with us for asking for your SS number. you told us that you felt it was an invasion of privacy and refused to comply with our request.

but mr. credit card customer, may we ask you one thing? did you not remember that you had to provide your SS number in order to apply for the store credit card in the first place?

shop girl

Monday, September 26, 2011

my first teensy little hint

okay.....this seems so obvious, but please allow me to make a little request.......

to my most valued customer:

when you bring your purchases to my counter, please let me enter my super secret eight digit associate number and my equally super secret 4 digit password before you ask me what your total purchase is. once i have punched those keys, i still cannot guess what each item will ring up as (with or without applicable coupon) plus state the tax until i have scanned each item first. *beep, beep, beep* only then will i be able to push my magic buttons on my register and tell you what you owe me.

little shop girl

Saturday, September 24, 2011

the adventure begins

okay.....initial post. where do i start? this blog will be a way for me to share my experiences as i work in a department store. i think i have started it for a selfish reason......this is the place where i will vent my frustrations but also a place to celebrate the good experiences as well.

i will try to keep a balanced view, but some days will be more negative (and therefore more entertaining?) than others!!!! :-)

here goes......